How To: Play Mao

Here's a new card game for you to play, readers! It's absolutely ridiculous, a little abstract, and completely different every time you play. Basically, it's the best card game ever.

And just because I love you, I've included the rules below. The name of the game is Mao. And it is spectacular.

All you need to play this game is 2+ players and a deck of cards. The more people the better, but this game is fabulous no matter what.

The point of Mao is to get rid of all the cards in your hand. “Base Mao” is the first dealer, and every dealer thereafter is referred to simply as “Mao”. Each player is dealt five cards and the remaining is placed face-down in a pile in the middle. The first card from the stack is placed face up beside it and then Mao designates who goes first and in what direction the turns go. (So, Mao would say “Starting with Jennifer and going counter-clockwise.”)

Each player then takes turns playing cards – you can match suit or number, much like Uno – or drawing a card if they can’t play. The first to lose all their cards becomes Mao and the game starts over.

So what makes this game so appealing?

Easy: The rules are controlled by Mao.

There ARE base rules in Mao that vary depending on where you learned the game, but here are the ones I was taught:

WHEN CARDS ARE PLAYED

Aces – player says “Ace in the hole”

Kings – player says “King of Mao”

Queens – player says “Queen of Mao”

Jacks – player says “Jack of Mao”

Sevens – player says “Have a nice day” (for every subsequent seven played in a row, a “very” is added. So if three sevens are played in a row, the player would say “Have a very very nice day!”)

OTHER RULES

Any time a player has only one card in their hand, they must announce “Mao One” and any time they play their final card, the must say “Mao”.

Mao must announce “Mao up” before players can touch their cards. In the event that the deck runs out, Mao announces “Mao down” and all players must refrain from touching their cards while Mao shuffles the deck, turns over a new card, and once again announces “Mao up”.

The rules may not be discussed at all during gameplay unless Mao is down.

Breaking any of these rules incurs a penalty of drawing one card.

The base rules should not be explained to anyone prior to gameplay – only base Mao needs to know them. Other players may ask when Mao is down or pick up on the rules during gameplay.

NEW ROUNDS

With each new round, whoever is Mao may either make up one new rule, change a rule, or delete a rule. New rules can be ANYTHING; a specific action or phrase when a certain number is played, a specific way to draw, the possibilities for new rules is limited only to the imaginations of Mao. The only limitation on Mao is that only one rule can be made up, changed, or deleted. Mao should not explain this rule to anyone before the round begins, and can only explain if Mao is down and someone asks (but Mao is not required to explain).

If Mao’s rule remains unbroken during gameplay and is not used (ie. your rule is contingent upon an ace being played but no one plays any aces before the round is up), the rule is thrown out for the remainder of the game (unless Mao brings it back in another round). However, if the rule is used, it remains for the duration of the game.

Each round ends when someone loses all their cards. The game ends when people are too exhausted to continue.

Any questions?

Have fun, readers. Go forth and confuse all of your friends!