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Tuesday, November 18, 2014

20 Songs That Shaped Me

Some songs come and go; does anyone actually remember Fountains of Wayne? (Yes – THAT’S the band who gave us “Stacy’s Mom”.) But some songs stay with us for a lifetime and a half. Those are the songs I’m focusing on. So I give you 20 songs that not only dominated some portion of my life and was stuck on repeat for a month, but also helped me through something. Maybe I even go back to these songs when I really need them (or when I miss hearing them).

PS. These definitely aren’t in any kind of order.


1. All My Life - Foo Fighters
Any time I make a list of important music in my life, this song always tops it. Foo Fighters as a band hold a very special place in my heart. My mom and I bonded most when we were in her car driving around, and those moments were married to a great soundtrack. Many of the songs that we sang together in the car are going to make this list, but none as important as All My Life. Not only does this song represent a pivotal time in my relationship with my mom but it also represents the first real friendship I ever developed with a girl who would remain my best friend for over a decade. Even in mix CDs we would make for each other years later, not a single one would be complete without All My Life by Foo Fighters.

2. Willow Tree – G. Love and Special Sauce
Almost equally important is this gem. Almost no one knows this song, but I can’t imagine my childhood without it. I remember my mom singing this one to me as she tucked me into bed, and now it is the song I listen to when I need comfort of any sort. G. Love croons that he wants to protect the subject of this song and likewise, my mom used this song to tell me that she would always protect me.

3. Blackbird - The Beatles
I can’t actually remember when or where I first heard this song or even when I first heard any Beatles songs. Almost as constant a presence in my life as any tangible family member or stuffed animal, The Beatles were there from day one. I always loved them. Some of my favorite memories involve my uncle and me watching Yellow Submarine. Blackbird in particular became much more important later in life, but it came to represent all that I wanted out of life – freedom to explore and break free of the chains I felt holding me down in rural Arkansas.

4. Mary, Did You Know? - Various
A Christmas classic, this song represents much more to me than any religious connotation (or denotation) it may hold. I remember a small, curl-headed Erica hiding under the staircase and listening to her grandmother sing this while her grandfather played piano to accompany. This was their signature song for every Christmas to come and Erica continued to hide and listen to them perform.

5. Drive - Incubus
A truly generational classic, Drive became the song of hope for many, including myself. In all moments of life when I doubted myself the most, this song rose to the occasion to challenge that doubt and to remind myself that to be without doubt is to be without success. Chalk it up as pure inspiration.

6. Champagne - 311
I’m not 100% sure what this song is about. I’m 100% sure that I really don’t care. I think it’s about an argument between the narrator and his girlfriend. The song’s meaning never registered to me because I was too busy singing along happily. This is another song I remember from drives with my mom. Most specifically, on our first trip together when we went to Magic Springs (an amusement park), I remember listening to this song until I could sing all the words. The entire trip was ruined by weather, but mom was determined to make it better so she bought lots of board games and season passes to Magic Springs. She was upset that we got rained out, but I was happy that I got to spend so much time with her.

7. Imagine - John Lennon
This one is cliché and expected on a list like this one. But it wouldn’t be cliché if it wasn’t a wonderful song that moved millions of people. Sure, the world that John Lennon asks us to imagine wouldn’t work. It might even be a complete failure. But at the same time, his vision was beautiful; what he saw was peace and harmony and love. A true testament to being the sunshine in others’ lives, this song has always been in the forefront of my mind as a call to action.

8. Dog Days Are Over - Florence + The Machine
Aside from making me obsessed with the plus sign as punctuation, Florence is notorious for giving us universally-relatable lyrics and cosmic melodies to match. This song in particular is a victory song – it’s a celebration of the light at the end of the tunnel, a goodbye to all the pain you had to endure to get there. I sing this song every time I feel elated, and the happiness resonates throughout my life.

9. Sail - AWOLNATION
This song is riddled with memories and pain for me. Not so much pain in a bad sense, but a healthy sense. Sail is like the collection of bad experiences I’ve had in life, and it represents me at my darkest hour. However, the song also reminds me that I rose above all of those moments and came out with battle scars, but with the same smile I had before. The song is an intense cry for help, but to me it is also a collection of victories. Also, it’s just really good.

10. Follow Me - Muse
In my senior year of high school, I decided to be brave. One of the most prominent lyrics of this song, Follow Me turned into my “Eye of the Tiger” in a time when I was preparing to leave home and go 1200 miles away. No matter how scared I am or how defeated I feel, Muse is there reminding me to be brave, which I would absolutely say is one of the hardest and most important things I can do for myself.

11. From God's Perspective - Bo Burnham
Bo Burnham is a brilliant comedian, but he’s also notorious for making me question everything. From God’s Perspective has some jewels, but mostly it makes me reflect on myself and my faith. “No one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you.” and “Maybe life on Earth could be Heaven; doesn’t just the thought of it make it worth a try?” and “If you want love then the love has gotta come from you” all strike me less as jokes and more life philosophies that are important to me. I don’t want to rely on God for love, and I don’t want to imagine a world that makes the one I’m in now seem unimportant.

12. The Scientist - Flux Pavilion
This song may seem out of place. It’s a dubstep song, kind of lackluster in comparison to some of the others. It doesn’t really have a meaning. However, it is the song I was listening to when I opened the email with the admission decision from Haverford College inside. As the beat dropped, I read “Congratulations!” and it’s the soundtrack of one of the most important, life-changing things that has ever happened to me. Needless to say, this song holds much more for me than it might for any other person. Maybe the song itself didn’t shape me but it is so integrated with that moment that I can’t help but include it on my list.

13. Under The Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Another song from the car rides with mom, this one has always spoken to me on some level. It is about loneliness, and that is a feeling that comes around often with a girl who struggles with anxiety and who had a father alive and un-present. But this song is also about escape to another world, and to a young girl who felt trapped, the idea of other world where things were better was an important one.

14. Northern Downpour - Panic! At The Disco
Northern Downpour is such an important song in my life that I briefly considered getting a tattoo of a lyric from the song. The meaning is not set in stone for me – it has changed throughout time and it remains relatable no matter what situation I’m in. It’s poetic, beautiful, and so very quotable. This song carried me through tough times, pushed me into wonderful ones, held my hand through easy ones, and became my best friend. It has remained my all-time favorite song for years and I imagine it will stay that way for a long time.

15. Shout - Tears For Fears
This song terrified me as a kid. I used to imagine a young girl inside her house painting while her parents drove off outside, not to return. The image was horrifying – especially since one of my parents left me as a baby. But now, I have a deep appreciation for this song. One of my mom’s favorites as well, she wrote a cover of it on guitar that is absolutely gut-wrenching and it often brings a tear to my eye. Filled with an emotion I can’t quite name, this song is a foundation on which my fears in childhood were brought to light and a way for me to very early on become self-aware and start to work through my own mental issues.

16. Hurt - Johnny Cash
Hurt is originally by Nine Inch Nails. Trent Reznor’s version is haunting and beautiful, but even he would agree that Johnny Cash’s version is better. Filled to the brim with soul-destroying lyrics such as “Everyone I know goes away in the end,” this song has no happy ending. It is written by and for broken people. Often, in times of deep sorrow, the best thing for me to do is listen to music that is nothing but sheer sadness. It allows tears to come easily and opens my soul up to a very cleansing process. The song that has always topped my list for complete sorrow is Hurt.

17. Eleanor Rigby - The Beatles
This was probably my first favorite Beatles song. Aside from that, though, this song was one of the first introductions I got to real pain. I remember being entranced by the melancholy feel of it, and I remember being so disturbed at how different it felt from anything else. However, it was instrumental because it made me care so much. I wanted to help the people in the song, and that want to help others never faltered.

18. Do I Wanna Know? - Arctic Monkeys
Arctic Monkeys is that bad boy that every girl falls in love with at some point in her life. For me, that love manifested itself in a band. Arctic Monkeys came into the picture right before I left for college and they’ve been here ever since. This song in particular is about nothing more than not knowing how the object of your affection feels about you. Written in such a raw, realistic way makes this song both extremely relatable and inexplicably sexy. There are so many memories and emotions wrapped up in this song, it’s impossible to think about the past few months without this song’s presence. 

19. How He Loves - David Crowder Band
This song is well known in the Christian community. It’s a staple of youth retreats. And it just so happens to be one of the most important songs in my life. One of my best memories – falling in love with my faith – was completely because of THIS song. And even though my faith journey is still rocky and I’m still not quite sure where I am in the process, I can only love this song for all of the passion it sparked in me, and all of the wonderful memories that came later because of it.

20. Paradise - Coldplay
The first time I visited Haverford College, I walked down College Lane blasting this song into my ears. In a fit of pure joy, I broke down in tears. My friend – David – was singing along and the entire moment was perfect. The campus was beautiful. The future was beautiful. The song was magnificent. Paradise is the ultimate song of leaving to a new world. It is full of adventure, promise, and hope. It could have been written about me. It is the song that is definitive of Haverford College and it holds such a special place in my heart, I imagine that it will be one of the songs I’ll remember the words to long after I’ve forgotten my own name.

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