How To: Have A Healthy Relationship

First, a disclaimer: I am not an expert. I'm only a mere 19-years-old, and my current relationship is actually the only relationship I have to go on in terms of health. But, with all my previous, and somewhat unhealthy relationships, I've learned quite a bit that I would like to pass on:

Dearest Love,

There's a lyric in an Owl City song that goes "And I'll look at my hands and feel sad, 'cause the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly". How can those words reverberate in my soul so much when you're only a few steps away? How can you be the vehicle through which I find so much happiness, but also the one thing that makes me sad? 

I think I fear for what will be our future. I fear for a day when I might be alone, and I look back and regret the days I spent wishing your hand was in mine but not bothering to ask you. There might come a time when I can no longer kiss you and then I'll feel pain for every moment I could have felt your lips against mine but didn't.

Time is infinite, but we are finite. And at some point, one or both of us will feel that loss - that stinging pain of realizing that there will be no more hands held, no more kisses given. Some day, I'll wake up without your arm around my waist and without your sweet whispers in my ear. Whether we are torn apart by internal forces, the world, or Death himself, I will eventually find myself in the dark, without your light to guide me home.

And it's the pain I'm living now that echoes that future. It's this sinking feeling that you are not infinite, and you can not be my vessel to happiness for the rest of time. It's the pain of knowing that love always leads to heartache.

But why do I stay, you may ask?

Because in order to feel heartache, you must first feel bliss. And you, my dear, are pure bliss.

- Sunshine

Aftermath of the Honeymoon Phase

They say that when you start a new relationship, there's a Honeymoon Phase. Basically, all relationships begin with this sort of courting mentality where both parties are attempting to be their better selves in order to impress the other. And for a few months, both parties are blissfully in love with the other because wow this new person is so great and I love this person so much.

And honestly, the Honeymoon Phase is one of the best parts of a relationship. It's fun and exciting, and getting to explore a new person is a whole new kind of adventure. But eventually, things settle down. You kind of understand the other person - you know their pressure points, their insecurities, you know about their favorite childhood pet and whether or not they like onions on their burgers. But one of the biggest changes that occur is that when people start to get comfortable with another person, they stop trying to impress them all the time. 

This is where the Honeymoon Phase can cause problems.

Lessons in Love from the Resident Hopeless Romantic

Hello there, beautiful readers that I've been imagining this entire time. Today, I'm going to talk about love. And I definitely mean the knock-your-socks-off, I-Wanna-Hold-Your-Hand ballad-worthy kind of love that begins with fireworks and ends with the rest of the universe.

Bad Breakups with Old Friends and The Bad-Boy Replacement (AKA Arctic Monkeys)

Your first real, serious relationship is generally an important one in your lifetime. I remember the first relationship I had that felt like a relationship was with a boy named James. He was a couple of years older than me, and I remember singing love songs as he played piano. I remember falling madly in love with his family - so much so that I continued to love and visit with them long after we broke up.

James was that first, beautiful relationship for me. And the relationship ended messily, terribly even. It's a wonder that we still occasionally talk. And when he comes to town and I happen to see him, it takes a great deal of self-control to not bring up that relationship - to not go back to it. Because it WAS my first real relationship and it was one filled with happiness...when it was happy.

So what does that have to do with Arctic Monkeys?