I have decided to give a post with some insight into who I am. Surely, after many more posts, that image would come together naturally, but I like efficiency. (And let's be honest - I like talking about myself.)
I like to think that I don't have many problems in my life - it's a pretty good one, with the occasional rough patch. But for the most part, I don't have a really sad story, and most of my biggest obstacles are purely mental.
My father was never around, I never even met him. He committed suicide when I was around 11 years old. It was hard for me, and I did cry, but I also got to meet a whole side of my family I had never known before. Still today, I love them with all my heart, even though I don't get to see them very often.
Throughout school, I was strange and usually considered the outcast, although people were usually relatively friendly towards me. (Or they just didn't have anything to do with me.) That's all good and well because I'm pretty much above trying to impress people who don't know the name of our current Vice President.
In 9th grade, I started going to the United Methodist Church with my grandparents. I met my first real boyfriend - Landen, and my second real boyfriend, James. Beyond that, I joined Conference and dived headfirst into my proudest achievement - the Youth Service Fund.
Not to long after that, I went on a trip to Rome and Athens. Seeing the world made me realize that I had to do something so much greater with my life. I realized that the world was huge - a lot bigger than my high school. And when I got back, I was renewed in mind and soul.
Not long after THAT, I attended my first Sr. High Assembly - a conference event. I had never been so passionate about God.
Eventually, I would move on to bigger and better things. Now, I am the Youth Service Fund Chairperson over the state of Arkansas. I attended a magnet school for about a semester and met my current and most real boyfriend - John. I also met some people who became my best friends, and who are still my life.
Although now I am back at my first school. A lot of the kids in my grade don't care to talk to me, which is okay because I don't want to be involved in all the drama and stupid parties. I usually hang out with the 9th graders because sadly, they are a lot more mature.
I have met another best friend - Tatiana. She's perfection, of course.
Church with her and Racheal is great, and I get to spend my final year in Conference with them. I was invited to Page at the House of Representatives in Little Rock, I was selected to be a national delegate to the Washington Youth Summit on the Environment, and continuously gaining more achievements to put under my belt.
My family is great, even if they fight a lot and maybe have a few mental issues of their own. I have a great relationship with my mom, and she managed to raise a decent kid without beating them. I owe her a lot because she has always believed in me, even when I didn't believe in myself.
My mental obstacles far outweigh any others, though. Struggling to be perfect because anything less isn't acceptable - that almost killed me several times. My paranoia - not even being able to enjoy midnight premiers at the movie theater for fear of shootings, and occasionally crying to John that I'm terrified he doesn't like me. Those affect my happiness more than anything, but I'm working past them every day and the other constant positives in my life help greatly.
My fandoms are a large part of my life. When I lose faith in humanity, Doctor Who and Harry Potter and [insert other fandoms here] restore it. They keep my mind occupied so I don't focus on the negative and I love those characters like real people, sometimes.
My story is happy. Sometimes, briefly, I wish people in my grade cared about me. I wish that they would invite me to parties, even though I know I would turn them down. But then I remember that my Conference friends mean a whole lot more - people who love me all the time and only see me a handful number of times in a year. My magnet school friends who love me and see me even less than that - THEY are the real friends. And maybe I will lose contact with them over the years, but for now, they are more than enough. So really, I owe these people so much. They gave me life. I have no idea where I would be without them, but it really wouldn't be anywhere good. I know I am blessed, and hopefully, even though my story is boring and probably won't inspire many, I can serve as a role-model. I was able to overcome so much that happened in my head and even though it's not always gone, when it threatens my happiness I know how to shut it down.
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