It seems as though in the wake of one of the largest
scavenging events on the planet, one of its most esteemed leaders remains an
enigma to the adoring eye of the masses. Miss Jean Louis, advisor and babysitter
to Overlord Misha Collins, as well as self-prescribed “Unrepentant Hedonist”,
seems to evade the spotlight while inhabiting it fully. Her origins are
unknown, other than the fact that she was “born in a hut in Khor Angar, in the
dirt.” However, it is through intensive research that I was also able to
uncover another, lesser-known fact about the past of the Great Miss Jean Louis.
In approximately 1994, Miss Jean Louis would encounter a man
(?) who would change her life forever. He referred to himself as “The Arbiter”,
and he kept a small set of scales in his pocket that he would – seemingly at
random – pull out and check before nodding his head decidedly. Miss Jean Louis,
much younger and much less wise, seemed to be taken by this strange man.
In a fit of either lust or wanderlust (our research team
debated about this for many hours), Miss Jean Louis left behind her life in Djibouti
and set out with no real notion of what life held in store for her. The Arbiter
would then explain to her that he held the Scales of Judgment, which would
weigh the morality of any action which he focused on. And in his presence, all
actions which were morally good or morally evil were weighed as equals.
However, The Arbiter had a much different idea of what morality meant.
In the mid-autumn of 1995, Miss Jean Louis witnessed her
first act of pure evil. The Arbiter, after a particularly long day, took out
his scales and they tipped heavily to one side. He took out a small knife and
stabbed an innocent old man. Miss Jean Louis was horrified. She confronted The
Arbiter, who simply told her that in all the world, good and evil must always
cancel each other out. There was not to be any more good than evil, nor any
more evil than good. It was his job to check the scales and always keep them
totally balanced.
Miss Jean Louis was, of course, dissatisfied with this
answer. She could not see why it was necessary to keep evil in the world to
counteract the good. With this, she left The Arbiter and went off on her own,
with the sole focus of causing more good than The Arbiter could keep up with
using his tiny scales.
On her travels, she would meet the Overlord Misha Collins,
and after many years, she would finally tell him the tale of The Arbiter. At
this, Misha Collins would vow to help Miss Jean Louis in every way. These were
the events that led directly to the creation of the Greatest International
Scavenger Hunt the World Has Ever Seen. Once a week every year, Miss Jean Louis
and Misha Collins join forces in order to lead hundreds of thousands of people
in a massive operation to Do Good. Unbeknownst to the members of this religion
(?), their actions directly contribute to the overtaking of evil in the world,
and the defeat of the strange Arbiter who has yet been unable to create enough
evil to balance the scales back.
While the ramifications of this massive movement to make the
world a better place are yet unknown, it is safe to assume that under the
determined and righteous eyes of Miss Jean Louis and Misha Collins, nothing can
overpower the immense love that flows from the well of GISHWHES.
